a giant billboard with a man in a beige suit, leaning forward, smiling smugly. next to him, in giant times new roman font, is written ‘INJURIES?’ there is no number to call. there is no name listed
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How bra stores seem to think things work:
- Anything smaller than a C cup: must be pre-pubescent. Ugly patterns, and colours. Lots of animals and stripes.
- C to D cup: A woman! Pretty lacy things, nice patterns, large variety.
- Anything over a D cup: Beige. Lots and lots of beige.
How bra stores seem to think things work:
- Anything smaller than a C cup: must be pre-pubescent. Ugly patterns, and colours. Lot's of animals and stripes.
- C to D cup: A woman! Pretty lacy things, nice patterns, large variety.
- Anything over a D cup: Beige. Lots and lots of beige.
How bra stores seem to think things work:
- Anything smaller than a C cup: must be pre-pubescent. Ugly patterns, and colours. Lot's of animals and stripes.
- C to D cup: A woman! Pretty lacy things, nice patterns, large variety.
- Anything over a D cup: Beige. Lots and lots of beige.
me, a concerned white suburban mom
me: *leans out of my beige Toyota Sienna minivan at the junior soccer practice at Our Lady Catholic School, asking every player that walks by*
me: are you the one who taught my son to say “Deez Nuts”
for the longest time i thought shoes on a telephone wire was just people getting rid of their old shoes in a cool way
It’s not?…
no it means that someone sells drugs nearby
my life is a lie
there’s a whole line of shoes on the wire in the back of my school
Coming out of the closet idea: if you want to marry your boyfriend find a lesbian couple that wants to get married and have a double wedding where each guy is set to marry a woman. Then at the wedding just before “I do” just go “wait a minute. Something is wrong here” then switch to your partner and marry them instead. Four people get to come out of the closet at once. Very efficient.
if im at my wedding, when we say our “i do’s…” and not one of my friends come out and start singing “I write sins not tragedies” i will be disappointed with the people i befriended.
“if im at my wedding”
i’m so happy that “Damn Daniel!” is now becoming a thing… last year people were ridiculing shoes with “What are thooooose!” but this time we’re complimenting shoes with “Damn Daniel!” what a positive development.
thank you Beast Boy
if my husband doesn’t cry when he sees me on our wedding day I will softly kick him in the shin until he sheds a tear
lostnovels